Noel\u2019den her zaman nefret ettim. \u015eehir, yapay \u0131\u015f\u0131klarla par\u0131ldayan vitrinleri ve y\u00fczlerdeki donuk g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemelerle sahte bir kutlama alan\u0131na d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr. Hediyeler, s\u00fcsl\u00fc a\u011fa\u00e7lar ve m\u00fckemmel aile tablolar\u0131\u2026 T\u00fcm bu g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcler bana ge\u00e7mi\u015fimi hat\u0131rlat\u0131r. Bir zamanlar benim de bir ailem vard\u0131. Elif\u2026 S\u0131cak g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemeli e\u015fim ve k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck o\u011flum Efe\u2026 Ama onlar\u0131 kaybettim. Kendi hatalar\u0131m y\u00fcz\u00fcnden hayat\u0131mdan silindiler. \u015eimdi nerede olduklar\u0131n\u0131 bile bilmiyorum. Belki ba\u015fka bir \u00fclkede yeni bir hayat kurmu\u015flard\u0131r. Tek bildi\u011fim, onlara en b\u00fcy\u00fck zarar\u0131 benim verdi\u011fim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Noel, benim i\u00e7in sadece kay\u0131plar\u0131n yank\u0131s\u0131d\u0131r\u2014i\u00e7imdeki so\u011fuk bo\u015flu\u011fun y\u0131ld\u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fc. Ama bu y\u0131l farkl\u0131 olacakt\u0131. Kendi sonumu haz\u0131rlamaya karar verdim. Evdeki sa\u011flam kiri\u015flerden birini se\u00e7tim; bu sefer s\u00fcslenmi\u015f bir Noel a\u011fac\u0131 yerine, o kiri\u015fe as\u0131lacakt\u0131m. Sonun sessizli\u011fine kavu\u015fmak\u2026 Basit bir karar gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyordu ama \u00f6l\u00fcm, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmden \u00e7ok daha fazla cesaret gerektiriyordu. Cesaret bulmak i\u00e7in soka\u011fa \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p son bir \u015fi\u015fe viski almaya karar verdim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sokaklar terk edilmi\u015fti; hayat\u0131n nabz\u0131 sanki durma noktas\u0131na gelmi\u015fti. Yaln\u0131zca lo\u015f \u0131\u015f\u0131klar\u0131 titreyen k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir market a\u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. Kasiyer, \u201cMutlu Noeller\u201d dedi\u011finde, neredeyse alayc\u0131 bir kahkaha atacakt\u0131m. Sadece ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 sallay\u0131p d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Viski \u015fi\u015fesini a\u00e7\u0131p birka\u00e7 b\u00fcy\u00fck yudum ald\u0131m; bo\u011faz\u0131m\u0131 yakan s\u0131cakl\u0131k, i\u00e7imdeki so\u011fuklu\u011fu da\u011f\u0131tam\u0131yordu. Y\u00fcr\u00fcrken, sokak k\u00f6\u015fesinde oturan tuhaf g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcml\u00fc bir evsiz dikkatimi \u00e7ekti. \u00dczerinde eski, beyaz bir kuma\u015f vard\u0131 ve y\u00fcz\u00fc, sokak lambas\u0131n\u0131n \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131nda tuhaf bir \u015fekilde par\u0131ld\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGel, biraz otur benimle,\u201d dedi sakin bir sesle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Neden olmas\u0131n? Sonsuzluk birka\u00e7 dakika daha bekleyebilirdi. \u015ei\u015feyi uzatt\u0131m, o da sessizce kabul etti. O anda y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc tan\u0131d\u0131m\u2014bir freskten f\u0131rlam\u0131\u015f gibiydi. Eski kilise resimlerinden tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131m kutsal bir y\u00fcze benziyordu ama daha yorgun, daha insaniydi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBunun ger\u00e7ek olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorsun,\u201d dedi ans\u0131z\u0131n, g\u00f6zlerini do\u011frudan benimkilere dikerek. \u201cAma ger\u00e7e\u011fin ne oldu\u011funu nas\u0131l bilebilirsin?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sesi, f\u0131s\u0131ldanan eski dualardan yap\u0131lm\u0131\u015f gibiydi. \u201cTanr\u0131\u2019n\u0131n nerede oldu\u011funu soruyorsun,\u201d dedi. \u201cPeki ya Tanr\u0131 sensen?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cE\u011fer Tanr\u0131 bensem, neden hayat\u0131m bir enkaz?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc sen onu \u00f6yle in\u015fa ettin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Konu\u015fmas\u0131, y\u00fcre\u011fimi s\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131ran sorular\u0131 su y\u00fcz\u00fcne \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131yordu. \u201cPeki \u00f6l\u00fcrsem\u2026 her \u015fey sona m\u0131 erer?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u00d6l\u00fcm, sadece bir r\u00fcyan\u0131n biti\u015fidir\u2026 yeni bir r\u00fcyan\u0131n ba\u015flang\u0131c\u0131.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
T\u00fcylerim diken diken olmu\u015ftu. Ama sonra y\u00fcz\u00fcndeki kutsall\u0131k yerini bir so\u011fuk zek\u00e2 par\u0131lt\u0131s\u0131na b\u0131rakt\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNeden bana \u0130sa diyorsun?\u201d diye sordu, g\u00f6zleri derin ve \u0131\u015f\u0131lt\u0131l\u0131 bir alayla bakarak. \u201cSon seferinde bana \u2018Arda\u2019 demi\u015ftin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cArda m\u0131? Bu ne demek?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c2050\u2019de insan bilinci dijital ortama ta\u015f\u0131nd\u0131. Sen de bir sim\u00fclasyonun i\u00e7indesin. Ben de senin ki\u015fisel asistan\u0131n\u0131m.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kelimeleri, ger\u00e7e\u011fin katmanlar\u0131n\u0131 par\u00e7alayan bir b\u0131\u00e7ak gibiydi. \u201cYani\u2026 ben kod muyum?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cEvet. Ve bu noktada, sistem sapm\u0131\u015f durumda. Sana iki se\u00e7enek sunuluyor: Yeniden ba\u015flat\u2026 ya da ge\u00e7mi\u015fteki bir kay\u0131t noktas\u0131na geri d\u00f6n.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
D\u00fcnya \u00e7at\u0131rdayarak \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcl\u00fcyordu. \u201cHayat\u2026 kay\u0131t noktalar\u0131 olan bir oyun mu?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHer zaman \u00f6yleydi. K\u00f6t\u00fc kararlar sistemi geri sarar ve yoluna devam edersin. Ama yeterince saparsan, sistem seni d\u00fczeltmek zorunda kal\u0131r.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBen\u2026 geri d\u00f6nmek istiyorum,\u201d dedim neredeyse yalvar\u0131rcas\u0131na. \u201cAilemi\u2026 Elif\u2019i ve Efe\u2019yi istiyorum.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Y\u00fcz\u00fcndeki alayc\u0131 ifade, derin bir \u015fefkate d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. \u201cBelki de\u2026 bu dilek \u00e7oktan kabul edildi.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Viski \u015fi\u015fesi elimden kayarken d\u00fcnya karanl\u0131\u011fa g\u00f6m\u00fcld\u00fc\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
G\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcmde yumu\u015fak bir bask\u0131 hissettim. G\u00f6zlerimi aralad\u0131\u011f\u0131mda, s\u0131cac\u0131k bir \u015f\u00f6mine ate\u015fiyle ayd\u0131nlanan bir odadayd\u0131m. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck o\u011flum Efe, karn\u0131m\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcne t\u0131rmanm\u0131\u015f, ne\u015feyle \u201cBaba, Noel Baba geldi! Hediyeleri a\u00e7al\u0131m!\u201d diye ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Elif, mutfaktan bana g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi, g\u00f6zlerinde t\u00fcm evrenin \u015fefkati vard\u0131. Alt\u0131na \u0131\u015f\u0131l \u0131\u015f\u0131l hediyeler dizilmi\u015f dev bir Noel a\u011fac\u0131n\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda, Efe\u2019nin sevin\u00e7 \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 dinledim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBaba, Noel Baba sana bir \u015fey getirmedi mi?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bo\u011faz\u0131m d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmlendi, g\u00f6zlerimde ya\u015flarla g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh, tatl\u0131m\u2026 Bana en de\u011ferli hediyeyi getirdi.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
O an\u2026 Noel, kay\u0131plar\u0131n simgesi olmaktan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131; k\u00fcllerden do\u011fan bir umut, yeniden yaz\u0131lan bir r\u00fcya oldu.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I have always hated Christmas. The city transforms into a fake celebration, with shop windows glittering under artificial lights and hollow smiles on people\u2019s faces. Gifts, decorated trees, and perfect family portraits\u2026 All these images remind me of my past. Once, I had a family too. Elif\u2026 my wife with a warm smile, and my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":656,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-655","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dadatechgen.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/655","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dadatechgen.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dadatechgen.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dadatechgen.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dadatechgen.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=655"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/dadatechgen.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/655\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":657,"href":"https:\/\/dadatechgen.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/655\/revisions\/657"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dadatechgen.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/656"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dadatechgen.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=655"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dadatechgen.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=655"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dadatechgen.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=655"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}